The New Year has come and gone and some of you might be feeling like you didn’t get your resolutions, goals, manifestations, and intentions really solid just yet. There is no rush really. I think it takes several weeks to let the ideas percolate and then put them into action. Give yourself some time to let it all settle: the holidays, the bustle, the lack of schedule. Be gentle on yourself about your goals. If you goof…don’t worry.
Behavior change happens on a continuum. This is how I look at it:
1. You decide you are going to change something.
2. You spend some time observing how you do the thing you want to change.
3. You envision how you’re going to change it and what it will be like when it’s changed— how it will look and feel to have changed. This is where you get psyched!
4. You figure out what steps you need to take to change it.
5. You set a deadline for yourself and start taking those steps.
Now, here is where people often give up on this continuum. If they fail to do the change one or two or three times, then they feel they can’t possibly ever see themselves succeed to the changed state. They feel hopeless, and they give up. Come on REALLY?! If you have been doing something one way for years, you have neural pathways set up in your brain that reinforces you to keep doing that. You have to retrain your brain to do it differently, which mainly requires persistence. Every time you do the new change, you create a new pathway in your brain that will make it easier the next time to do it again. This just builds and builds, and soon, your new pathway is stronger than your old one.
So what if you give yourself LOTS of permission to not be perfect at anything and
Just…
Keep…
Trying.
Don’t give up. Look at the failed steps, where you goofed, laugh a little, and resume the attempt to change it. Don’t give up. Start over with serious compassion for yourself and remind yourself why you want to change in the first place and exactly what you want to change. Make it an attainable and measurable goals. See that change happening.
I can guarantee that if you have thought about this change for a long time, it’s worth fighting for. In the end, the more you try to stick with something the more likely it is to happen. You will regrow new neural pathways in your brain that reinforce the new behavior.
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