Do you ever feel like you're trying to change something, and it upsets all the solid practices you already have in place? For example, you want to remove that little bit of extra sugar from your diet, yet if you take it out, you notice that you become somewhat obsessed with it? Maybe it’s just a teaspoon of sugar in your tea in the morning and an evening square of dark chocolate, but somehow you feel you must take every bit of sugar out. Or maybe you want to eliminate the 1-3 glasses of wine you indulge in during the week. So, you attempt it and then hit a speed bump. You start craving it when you never really thought much about it before.
I like to get curious around these types of thoughts and desires. I often wonder what is the trade off for being totally 100% on or off a food or a particular behavior. Does it translate into rigid thinking? Or viewing your life as black and white or good and bad? Of course, there are exceptions to everything, but I wonder what we could feel like if we didn’t exist in these extremes?
With the drive that many people have to detox and cleanse, I find it can be a slippery slope. Is the trade off for making these changes going to produce rigidity, lack of enjoyment, or a sense of denial? If we lived more moderately, would we even need to cleanse?
Even though there are a few things in our diet that prevent it from being “perfect,” can we be okay with this? And maybe give ourselves a little permission and margin to enjoy something without feeling guilty? Is perfection even healthy? I always think about how our behaviors and choices affect us in the long term. Not just for a month or even a year. Rather, how does our life and the way we live it add up cumulatively and to what end? I look closely at other cultures and how they moderate their consumption. The French eat small pastries occasionally, and they walk a ton everyday. The Italians enjoy tobacco, here and there. The English never give up their cup of tea even when pregnant, and certainly the Indians have their chai daily - a small tiny glassful, the size of a dixie cup, not joking.
Often patients will sit down in a type of confessional format in my clinic to relay their “sins” to me about dietary “indiscretions.” I am constantly soothing their guilt, telling them to be gentle with the self-talk, be encouraging to themselves as they strive to make changes, and bite off reasonable and sustainable change. What I keep hearing in my head is: We need to be extreme only in our moderation. In other words, keep striving for the right choices that support our long term health, keep our eye on the ball, AND most importantly, give ourselves tons of permission to enjoy this life we have been gifted. That means, making space for a little of what brings you joy, a little of what makes you feel full, and a little of what helps you feel connected to others — such as going out for dinner and enjoying everything you eat, even if it’s NOT non-GMO, NOT organic, and NOT sugarless.
If there is one thing I am extreme about, it’s moderation. This is my greatest recommendation to you and my patients. So, savor that piece of chocolate and raise your glass to moderation. Your happiness and health depend on it!
